From Mommy Blogs to Mommy Meetups, Pittsburgh's Online Community

"I try not to complain about the challenges of working full-time while being a mom. I mean, there's really nothing to be accomplished by complaining. It's not exactly a choice, but it is where I'm at and there's no changing it at this time.All complaining does is create drama. Honestly, it seems that complaining just riles up those who stay at home. Both sides of the fence seem to get defensive when either side whines, as if we all forget that everybody has days that suck and that neither side has it worse. Just different."
 
That reality check comes from Michelle Hammons, the doyenne of mommy bloggers in Pittsburgh at her blog, Burgh Baby, and mother to four-year-old Alexis. A paean to kids, motherhood and the shared experience, the blog is also part Pittsburgh shout-out (for one, she really wants the Pirates to do better) and part personal plea (virtual fundraisers for children's charities, often in a cheeky game of one-upmanship with fellow blogger Virginia Montanez aka Pitt Girl).
 
The era of blogs and meetups has moved mommy conversations online and close to home among like-minded souls.  Much of the conversation is on Twitter, with a virtual mommy circle batting around topics such as the best time to remove a kid's pacifier in 140 characters or less.  "That was a long conversation on Twitter," laughs Hammons.  "On Twitter, you get to know these people and based on that, you give their opinions more or less weight.  It's your tribe."
 
Finding the lighter side of life as well, Hammons recently tweeted nonstop during MTV's Video Music Awards – WOOT Linkin Park! – and is gearing up for Christmas, her favorite holiday of the year and yet another opportunity to help Pittsburgh kids.  She finds inspiration and a sense of community from Pittsburgh-centric mommy blogs including jayesel, My very last nerve and One Damn Thing.
 
Blogs weren't the norm when Karen Dibert's eldest child was born.  The mother of four pens a blog called The Rocking Pony which, for the most part, talks about her youngest, Micah, a seven-year-old with Down's Syndrome:
 
Micah isn't big on affection. At least not toward the family. He'll hug total strangers and his compadres, but not mom or dad. We're simply here to serve him, and we'd better snap to it. When he's not feeling well he gets snuggly, which is nice right up until you realize that he's only hugging you to wipe his nose on your shirt. (True story.)
 
"He is like nothing we've experienced," says Dibert, whose connection with bloggers has helped her immensely.  "On the Internet, I've got a whole world of people to interact with and I know my parenting has come a long way in the three years I've been blogging.  You can talk with other moms and you come to know who can help you.  I needed that sort of community."
 
Blogging was second nature for Allison Barton, a Squirrel Hill resident who authored blogs in high school and college.  The 24-year-old mother to three-year-old Alex tips readers straightaway that her blog, Allison Says, is "A lot about a baby boy named Alex, a good amount about life and a bit about the rest." In a post about how no one can prepare you for parenthood, no matter how much they tell you beforehand, she writes:
"...No one prepares you for the laughter. No one can prepare you for how much joy you will take out of the silly things they say. "We weren't very close," Alex told me when I asked if he missed one of his daycare friends who had started preschool.

No one can prepare you for how much joy you feel for your child. How what they do is the most amazing thing any child has ever done. How what they say is funnier than another child saying the exact same thing. How when they say they love you it gets stored away forever, and how when they say they hate you it also does.

No one can prepare you for parenthood."

Come Together Right Now
Dibert and Barton are part of a cadre of moms who check in regularly at the Burgh Mom website, which posts details on monthly get-togethers through social media and is "the red-headed stepchild" of Burgh Baby creator Hammons.
 
Many local moms use meetup.com to form groups of like-minded individuals, among them: Burgh Family and Friends, Catholic Moms Group of Pittsburgh and Motherhood Later...Than Sooner: 35+ Moms in Pittsburgh.
 
 "You know you're a hip mama if...you sing indie rock songs to your kids...you listen to NPR...you freecycle...your friends demand a keg at your child's first birthday party," says the website for the Pittsburgh Hip Mama Meetup.
 
 "We're not political in any way," says Lisa Roedersheimer, the Emsworth-based organizer of the group, "but we typically share the same sentiments.  Many of our members are originally from other cities and have used the group to make new friends."  The Pittsburgh Attachment Parenting Meetup counts nearly 200 members and is a source of support for a parenting methodology that isn't mainstream.
 
Melding blogs and meetups under a big tent is TheMotherhood.com, a compendium of information and interaction co-founded by Cooper Munroe, a Pittsburgher who started the site with longtime friend Emily McKhann, who is based in New York.
 
The site has teamed up with Fortune 500 companies as well as groups such as Habitat for Humanity to facilitate focus groups (often using Pittsburgh moms) that hone in on what mothers need.  Munroe is proudest of TheMotherhood's campaign to stop distracted driving (texting and other cell phone usage behind the wheel) and McKhann was able to make a personal plea to Oprah Winfrey on her show.  "With less trust in institutions, women have put more trust in each other," says Munroe.

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From the top:  Michelle Hammons, Karen Dibert with sons Micah and Luke, and Allison Barton.



Photographs copyright Brian Cohen